Take the long view

There is nothing as devastating as watching your children fail.  Failure is natural, but not when you try and try and try again.  I remember when my son, Josiah failed to learn to read.  He just couldn't remember the letters.  In year 2 his teacher said he wriggled on the mat and couldn't sit still.  Josiah who was placid and happy, got very angry.

It was at that point we got help and a diagnosis.  He would have been around 8 years old?  The school had tried everything, but nothing had worked.  I mean everything that was available like reading recovery, a teacher aide 1-1 teaching alphabet sounds and identification, rainbow reading and a Specialist literacy teacher (3 times a week for 1 hour each time).  Josiah could do all the tricks, he could re-run, he use picture clues, he could even work out missing words from context, but he couldn't read small words consistently and he couldn't read without help.  Basically, he couldn't hear sounds and relate them to letters.  We got Josiah labelled at Child and Adolesent Mental Health by a Phychiatrist.  We were very lucky. We got some counseling for him.   We also paid for him to have the special assessment with a developmental eye specialist.  Also we paid for another private assessment confirming the first.

A wonderful teacher aide left the primary school and trained in the Davis Programme.  It was this programme with this teacher that made the difference.  It was here that in two weeks, he learnt his alphabet letters and sounds.  That in it self is astonishing.  We had the job of continuing the process in helping Josiah learn the 220 or so trigger words that.  It is a big job.  Each word takes 30-40 minutes.  We paid for a teacher aide to do this once a day for a while.  Even with all this we didn’t finish.  However, it was enough to make a difference.

The biggest difference from the Davis Programme was that Josiah was at peace with himself.  He identified as being dyslexic and became his old self.  He accepted who he was and how he was.   He also learnt some tools which he still uses and helps him to focus.  Simple but profound.

Over the next few years, Josiah scored a PAT stanine 9 twice in listening comprehension.  We celebrated as we saw how he had compensated and had become an amazing listener.  I will never forget his Year 5 and 6 teacher the most amazing teacher who took him and treated him as an intelligent and able student.  She allowed him to sit in lessons with her highest reading group and highest maths group.  She affirmed him. 

Now Josiah is in Year 11.  NCEA 1 looms.  Josiah is not worried one bit.  His school has applied for compensations, without a paid diagnosis, purely on assessment information and observations.  Sensible, logical stuff, this is how it should be.  We heard this week that he has been accepted no questions.  Common sense.  Wonderful.  He can use a reader/writer or computer.  He can have a room by himself for exams.  The playing field has been made level.

The thing about Josiah is that he believes he can do anything.  He believes he is a learner.  He knows he is successful.  He doesn’t doubt his ability or his skills.  He knows ways around not being able to read and write.  Learning for him isn’t defined by paper and pencil but by thinking, remembering, creating. 

As a mum, my heart sings.  I remember when he was a little boy and the most important thing was to make sure he loved learning. We talked to him lots.  We took him on trips.   We read to him – a lot.  He listened to stories on tape, then CD and then a kindle.    I never forced him to hold a pencil, I never made him practice senseless letters over and over again.  I never made him read over and over again.  He never had to do homework.  Unless of course he wanted to.   I protected his personhood. Even when he wanted to stop the Davis Programme learning we listened.  Forcing was not an option.  What this journey has shown me is that a passion for learning and listening to the person, working for them and not against their will, is fundamental to success. Trusting my son to know what to do and when has been important. 

Reading and writing may be helpful to learning, but it is not essential.

Sure I am under no doubt that the next few years will be hard work, but isn’t it like that for all learners?  New learning is always hard fought for.