The difference of one

"I experience with incredible gratitude, the kindness of one who understands.  The words they speak that put my world into a reality that feels like I can survive.   The way they listen, the time they take and the love they show.   I appreciate that they can see where I am. They can understand why I am and who my child is, even though they are not in my tunnel.   How grateful I am to them.  They change my world.  They change my child’s world.  To me they are superstars."

And there it is, one of those special people walks into my life.  A life saver.  

What makes them so different?

Session one, they listen.  They don't judge.  They don't comment.  They don't label.  They don't blame. 
Their body language is open.  
They reframe.  Session two, they start to add in context.  
They make links to my mess, they join the dots.

From my point of view I can sense the difference.  It is tangible.  Even without words it was tangible.  Even the first meeting.  Prior beliefs are seen in body language before words are even spoken.  

Then the linking of ideas.

For example - It is not the  behavioural approach  or..................    it is behavioural approach and..........  
Medication works in context.  It requires the environment to be working as well.  (Ecological theory).  You can't just rely on the medication to be enough.  If the environment is working then the Medication can do it's job.
Teachers need to spend time with Miss A, just being and building relationship.  Not doing any new learning.  Spend time in play with her and others.  
We will reframe the behaviour so others can understand it is not being naughty.  A strategy to help a team to understand.

Here are two really important keys here for us as practitioners.  

1.  Our delivery of knowledge is just if not more important than the knowledge itself.  You can't have one without the other.

2.  The ability to listen to people, and then bring them new information from where they stand takes real skill but is very powerful. It is affirming.  Start from the person's belief and then put that belief, those ideas, in context, move on to the next new learning creating a link.  

I begin to understand that it is not knowledge alone or practice alone, but the ability to link the two in context of the team supporting the individual.