A Point of View

A Point of View

Before I had a child labeled Autistic, I thought that parents of children with Autism were unskilled parents.  Since my eyes were opened, I see parents of children with Autism as amazing, dedicated, strong, resilient humans, raising equally amazing, talented and welcomed humans.

There it is - Before and After. 

Before I couldn’t see out of my tunnel.  I had no idea, I had no experience, I had no understanding.  I had a lot of judgement and ignorance.  I wasn’t a bad person, I was just one in a tunnel.  I couldn’t see what I couldn’t see. 

After I could see.  I had compassion, understanding, empathy.  I wasn’t a good person, I was just out of the tunnel.  I could see. 

As humans, we sometimes make sense of the world by using our world.  We look out of our tunnel and explain a world without a tunnel like our own.  All we see is the reflection of our own walls, our own thinking and our own feelings.   Worse, we let these images, these ideas and values limit us and confine us to the known.   They also confine others.

I feel the stares as my child screams behind me as I walk into school.  I hear the rumors of how I am a bad parent.  I remember the misunderstanding of family, the silent dismissal of others who can’t understand. 

 I experience with incredible gratitude, the kindness of one who understands.  The words they speak that put my world into a reality that feels like I can survive.   The way they listen, the time they take and the love they show.   I appreciate that they can see where I am. They can understand why I am and who my child is, even though they are not in my tunnel.   How grateful I am to them.  They change my world.  They change my child’s world.  To me they are superstars.

By Tara O’Neill

2014